Knowing myself… Tuesday, Oct 30 2007 

My good friend Dick Groot provided me with the following quote, which put into words so much of what I was working through.  Hope it helps you as well… 

The need to prove that we exist as someone of substance – be it good or bad – is the only reason we experience conflict and reactionary behavior.  Whenever conflict arises, the need to prove has been set in motion. Whenever the need to prove is set in motion , we can be sure that our experience is underlain by doubt.  After all, when we know something to be a truth, we have no need to make that truth heard, understood, believed or acknowledged by anyone.

This understanding is the foundation upon which we begin our investigation; conflict = the need to prove = proof of doubt.  This equation, as a starting point for the investigation of self, immediately gives birth to a new perspective on blame and victim-consciousness. This focus sets in motion the regressive process of bringing to consciousness all the self-defeating, self-rejecting beliefs that prevent us from being fully present as the whole and complete being who we really are.

Conflict always denotes the need to prove.  The need to prove always denotes doubt. Where there is doubt, the truth is absent. Where there is conflict, there is self-doubt.  This means that conflict is the indicator that the true self is absent from our consciousness.  We are ignorant of our true being.  While ignorance of self persists, we remain incapable of fully engaging with life.  This means that the investigation of conflict is the gateway to conscious living.

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Friends… Wednesday, Oct 24 2007 

I had lunch yesterday with my awesome friend Stacey.  She always makes me laugh with her directness.  You  never have to worry about knowing what she thinks as she says it “like it is”.  No unspoken agenda for her.  She is so refreshing.  So many times in life there are unsaid or unwritten agendas taking place behind your back and one day you wake up to a world you never anticipated.  We can get caught up in our own little world and lose perspective.  Today I need to see a bigger world picture.  I am not sure which window to look out to see this bigger world! 

Rest… Monday, Oct 15 2007 

Today I put into practice another Sabbath day.  My chest infection is into its 4th week and is still giving me some grief.  I worked some long days this week, so decided to take a day to reflect and be quiet.  I reread some of the chapters in the book by Ron Rolheiser “The Holy Longing”.  It is probably one of the best books I have read in the last year.  I reread the chapter on the “Paschal Mystery” and how it can become part of our daily life.  He talks about how we need embrace small deaths in our life every day and by embracing them we then have the capacity and strength to embrace new life and a new spirit for that new life.  Just some good thoughts about the reality of living real life and not remaining in some daydream world.  I also began reading a book on “Jesus through the Centuries”.  A book with a different perspective, but if we only read to affirm what we already know, we will never learn about other views and perspectives…gives me an opportunity to do some critical thinking and be prepared for some good conversations with my good friend Chris Garner.  Good day today!  Tonight we watched “Bad Boys I and II”.  We had some good laughs!

Sabbath…Seeing my life through the eyes of others Sunday, Oct 7 2007 

A couple of thoughts today as I am researching and thinking about exercising a Sabbath in my life on a consistent basis and as I look forward to turning 60 in December, looking at refining who I am by seeing myself through the eyes of others.  I want to finish well!  I don’t want to have blinders on my eyes and end up on the wrong side of the finishing line!

The Sabbath is something I have pondered on for quite some time but haven’t been specific in putting something together for it.  The book I am reading through is “Sabbath” by Wayne Muller, and it is an excellent resource and would highly recommend it.  It is highly practical as well and he gives many examples of what you can do to bring Sabbath about in your lives.  So today is my Sabbath…it is Sunday…I have no responsibilities except to have Thanksgiving dessert with Jordon and Wendy this evening.  Awesome!

Now, I really have no idea who reads this blog, but these are some of the questions I am asking people to give input into my life on…and if you want to do that for me…please email me or give me a phone call…I would be happy to hear from you.  These are the questions:

In knowing me and in your relationship with me, what has your experience been?  What has been positive?  Have I in any way hurt or disappointed you by my actions, words, attitude or behaviour?

What do you see as my greatest strengths?

What areas of my life do I not do well in?

What are some ways I could change or mature in to become a greater influence on the people around me?

What would be some words of wisdom for me?

Where do you see God working the greatest in me and through me?

My desire is to be all that I can be!  In order to be that person, I need to hear from those who know me well and are willing to be honest with me.  Please be gentle!  I do have feelings!

There’s my life update for today!

Back at work and moving to health… Friday, Oct 5 2007 

I went back to work on Tuesday.  Felt so good to be able to go pretty much a whole day without coughing my insides out.  Very busy at work…lots of changes and lots of challenges.  Life has its seasons and we are moving into another season of change at Lakeview.  Not sure how it will come out on the other end, but am trusting that good will come out of all the goings on.  I am continuing to learn lots about myself and working with others.  Life always continues to bring its challenges, and we need to be ready to embrace them and work through them.